tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post2150169392446870007..comments2023-10-24T11:30:47.750+01:00Comments on A Head Full of Beauty: (why) Can'tOpheliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06804728080052960584noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-75718685077781055602010-06-19T17:35:35.059+01:002010-06-19T17:35:35.059+01:00I've been away for a little while and just cat...I've been away for a little while and just catching up and there's too much for me to comment on. As always it's like everything you say mirrors my feelings exactly, right down to the things you wrote when you were 17, the way you feel about Alex, and they way you used to be before him, in the days of the Club. I empathise with this post so much. I too want recovery, but not enough to agree to give up dieting and accept myself at a higher weight like my CRB therapist said I must. I only want recovery if I can be thin too. Sometimes I feel so sickened by what I see in the mirror I can't bear to go out, and I'm miserable when I do, even though I know that I'm torturing myself and that if only I could just let it go, I would have a great time...<br /><br />I could swear we are twins. And we are our own worst enemies. I am so confused. Sometimes I look forward to leaving this broken me behind, I feel I have been trying for so long. But is this me? What am I without it? Like you say in a previous post, in our pain there is also beauty. We see things differently and feel things deeper but that is a blessing as well as a curse and I'm not sure how I can ever be rid of one without the other. Though too I wonder how much of this is self-imposed, how much of me wants to give in to the inner tortured artist, the inner Sylvia Plath. Could I be happy if I just...let myself? I think maybe yes, but we may have to accept that we may never be 'ordinary' and super happy all the time. But try to remember that Alex doesn't love you, minus the disordered thoughts, he loves ALL of you, and the way you see the world and our struggles is a part of you too. Own it, just don't let it own you.<br /><br />Here for you. xxEllexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12463618554152256067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-18413767203941778802010-06-16T17:43:36.009+01:002010-06-16T17:43:36.009+01:00I recently stumbled across your blog and today I&#...I recently stumbled across your blog and today I've been reading through your previous entries... Has ANYTHING ever made you happy?K.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-91509467929915197442010-06-16T13:23:39.210+01:002010-06-16T13:23:39.210+01:00if you've found someone who is perfect for you...if you've found someone who is perfect for you, and vice versa, don't give that up. <br /><br />serioulsy don't let the ED win and ruin your relationship. don't let it ruin what you have with Alex, that's special.Harlow Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14557563802540744676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-69657978952173156372010-06-16T04:14:33.655+01:002010-06-16T04:14:33.655+01:00Keep him. If you give him up then what do you hav...Keep him. If you give him up then what do you have to look forward to? I know that's how I feel about my boyfriend. Some days I feel so unworthy of just being with him, but other days he's what keeps me going.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-67105145484689814642010-06-15T19:15:05.956+01:002010-06-15T19:15:05.956+01:00I'm in the same spot, hun. I wanna recover...b...I'm in the same spot, hun. I wanna recover...but i wanna be thin... My man is too perfect for someone like me, but i will NOT let go of him. I wish i had some advice to give you... but i don't even know what to do myself. Just know that you're not alone in the situation you're in. Stay strong.Ana's Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10588270419894145137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-77249510503218598222010-06-14T18:52:10.672+01:002010-06-14T18:52:10.672+01:00Why dont you tell your boyfreind that you need a b...Why dont you tell your boyfreind that you need a break. And that's it's not cause youre seeing another, but that you need to learn to love yourself first before you can truely love him?<br /><br />If you let him go, and he comes back then it's true love. If not, it was probably never meant to be anyways. <br /><br />Whatever you decide, I hope you can pick yourself up again, without ana. It is difficult though, even ask for outside help maybe? <br />lots of love...take care <3Behind the Fathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11835232738019664011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-74086742804102066822010-06-14T13:18:27.368+01:002010-06-14T13:18:27.368+01:00stop binge eating stop throwing up stop taking lax...stop binge eating stop throwing up stop taking laxatives and you'll be fine. eat a bit and starve the rest of the time. if you can't starve eat a little bit of fruit or veg. if you carry on like this, if you lose alex, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.<br />get it together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-5414922953572373652010-06-14T12:04:40.792+01:002010-06-14T12:04:40.792+01:00I'm so sorry I have been absent. You are lovel...I'm so sorry I have been absent. You are lovely and you deserve happiness. I know how painful it is to try and be beautiful when everything reflected back at you disgusts you. But you have to know, please know, that it isn't true. I know you can't see the truth in the mirror, nor can I, but you just have to KNOW that somewhere under the lies is the real you. And even if you have to FORCE it, do it.<br /><br />xxPascohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07378294844687030241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-26930439152906717152010-06-14T11:44:05.667+01:002010-06-14T11:44:05.667+01:00you can get control of your life. one decision at ...you can get control of your life. one decision at the time. keep the things that make you happy. keep alex.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-2612939369567156342010-06-14T05:48:39.587+01:002010-06-14T05:48:39.587+01:00Do you have a reason why you think you deserve to ...Do you have a reason why you think you deserve to be punished and unhappy? I am sure that you are the only one who believes the reasons to be true. <br /><br />Your head cannot be full of beauty when all it creates is sadness. <br /><br />"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."<br /><br />-John Milton<br /><br />Don't be afraid of the change that goes along with getting better. Just think, it can't get much worse than this.<br /><br />Feel free to email me any old time :)<br /><br />-Summerwhat if summer...https://www.blogger.com/profile/06745197837769715801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5226506400762782826.post-88847714186483811182010-06-14T03:40:58.705+01:002010-06-14T03:40:58.705+01:00This is exactly what my last few days have been, I...This is exactly what my last few days have been, I'm falling apart.<br /><br />what do we do? I hate my fat body too much to give up/recover now - can't I lose the weight first and then fix the rest?<br /><br />dammit - what a horrible frustrating life this isKellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17979384048140214108noreply@blogger.com