Tuesday, 26 March 2013

What is wrong with this picture?

Two months ago a wonderful guy asked me to be his girlfriend.
Three weeks ago I got my dream job at my dream bank.
One week ago I ran a marathon.
I painted on a bright red smile, zipped up the tight red dress and strode in sky high red shoes.

I am finally the girl who has everything.

This was what I had been dreaming, praying, wishing, working, crying and dying for since I was a girl.


And you think that's it, that's the end of the fairytale. Except you can't be a fairytale princess when you're black inside.
Black from the rot and the vomit and the pills.

You look at me and see the girl who has everything. Oh god, if they knew the truth.

I can't stop it. At the end of the fairytale, I can't let go of the eating disorder. I can't stop it.