A Head Full of Beauty

Pretty red beads bloom around my arms; A chain, Which I can never cut through Never deep enough - I just Maintain Lord Mirror - The King - Everyday I kneel Before a cold ceramic ring with a bottomless pool reflection. False idol, you would never tell me lies - I choke on the ashes of your face; And bleed by the daggers of your eyes. -You have such pretty eyes- Glass vision never falters always staring me back down because you know I’ll never break you back Even when it all goes black. Ophelia

I have returned from my overseas travels, sunburnt and pimply... yuck. Ok so I'm only sunburt on my shoulders and have like 3 spots but still, really, really not what I needed for my first day of law school. How was it? Better than expected to tell you the truth. I had this image that everyone one there would be really intelligent, really boring and really aloof, but actually everyone I met seemed really nice and down-to-earth. I met two girls at the start who were really lovely and I hope I stay friends with them for the rest of the year, we seemed to have a lot in common. Of course there are loads of beautiful, thin girls in my lecture group, but not overwhelmingly so, like I had imagined. In my class there are two pretty girls, one ugly large girl and the rest are average... (I know I'm a superficial bitch describing people this way.) There are two - maybe three - attractive guys, but none of them hit me in the face saying w-o-w, and that's probably a good thing as the l...

I've been in Malaysia for the last week and am in Bangkok and Singapore for another week. This is the first time I've had internet here in my hotel in Bangkok... even now, posting this I feel like a stranger to my blog, to this world... I've been trying to restrict but it's been impossible. I feel so ... lost ... I've been visiting my mum's family (regular readers will know she's one of the tiny, doll-like, asian breed). It's all so hard and confusing... this head. But I haven't binged since I've been here (because all my food has been served up/chosen for me, and I haven't thrown up because I haven't had a single moment of privacy. (Even as I write this my Mum is lying on the bed behind me). I guess it's ok out here, no one really knows me. My family members here will become forgotten and alien again to me when I fly back to my life on the other side of the world. And yet when I do go back home, I know it will be worse than before...