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With all my everlasting love, Goodbye...

Well, I got the job.
I spent the last three weeks living and breathing the company and the role, preparing myself completely for the onslaught of interviews. Every spare moment pouring over economics textbooks, business journals and newspapers, paperbacks and online resources. I did everything I could to get that job.
I sat on the train on my journey home with my eyes closed and sent my thoughts up to the sky please let me get it, please, please

I start in 4 weeks, straight after I finish at the school.
Right back in the centre of the City of London. where I belong. where I can thrive, work hard and play hard

back to my best
whatever that best is

I got the call to say I'd been offered the job in the middle of my therapy session. I was overjoyed. My therapist congratulated me. We talked about the incredible progress I had made. We talked about the end... We decided that my last session will be the week before I start my new job.
The sun was shining outside, I felt invincible.
I was doing it. I am doing this. Ready or not, this is the end now - I'm choosing life, I'm choosing to take the opportunity I have been given, I'm choosing to grab hold of everything I have and run with it.

Maybe I will always have an eating disorder, but somehow it feels irrelevant because I've dragged myself out of the hell and depression that once consumed me and I know I'm never going back there so long as I live.

"7 months ago, I had nothing. I had no life, no hope.
I have hope now, I have a whole life of opportunity in the City of London waiting for me if I want it."
I WANT IT.

You see what I've written in my 'About Me' section on the right hand side of this page? Well that day came today. I've been through the hottest fires, I'm made of the strongest steel.
I've made it; I'm ready.




I've been writing for two and a half years - but it's been a lifetime on these pages.
That lifetime in my head full of beauty is over now.
I'm going to live for real. My dreams and ambitions are calling me.

With all my everlasting love,
Goodbye,

Ophelia
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Comments

  1. sofia14 June 2011 at 06:38

    congratulations and good luck. you deserve everything good that you're getting. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kitty14 June 2011 at 08:51

    Gz on the job. And have fun living your life :) Bet you'll be great.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loulou14 June 2011 at 14:58

    as much as i will miss your posts, i hope you will never need this space again, ophelia!

    it was a pleasure - please don't get this wrong - to have had the opportunity to follow your thoughts

    all the best

    or as b. dylan once put it:

    and if we meet again, introduced as friends
    please don't let on
    that you knew me when
    i was (we were) hungry
    and it was your world

    may all you ever wanted be your world

    adieu

    ReplyDelete
  4. Moonlight Mistress14 June 2011 at 17:46

    Goodbye and good luck. I will keep following your blog until you ever decided to delete it.


    ~MLM

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous14 June 2011 at 17:48

    I'm so happy for you getting the job! Congratulations and I hope you go on to be as successful in the rest of your life :)
    Lottie x

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous14 June 2011 at 18:44

    Congratulations! You deserve it. As much as I'll miss your posts, I'm glad your life is taking a turn for the better. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nicole Modugno14 June 2011 at 22:19

    I'm so excited for you!! You should start a new blog for your NEW beginning :) I really don't want to stop reading you. You're a great writer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. See14 June 2011 at 23:24

    I love you I love you I love you. I wish you all the best, you've come so far and you truly deserve it all. I'm very proud. Good luck sweetie, I'll miss you! x

    ReplyDelete
  9. none15 June 2011 at 23:47

    loulou said it better than I ever could. May you find peace wherever you go<3

    ReplyDelete
  10. amelia16 June 2011 at 00:47

    Your Amazing And Im Glad Your Happy Ever After Is Starting..You Deserve All The Good In The World...Good Luck In Everything I Hope One Day We All Get To A Happy Place :) x Gonna Miss You x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Peridot (G+P)16 June 2011 at 08:49

    It breaks my heart to see you say goodbye, but I couldn't be more overjoyed at the circumstances.

    :')

    Best of luck, love. Take care of yourself and never cease fighing for your happiness.

    Arohanui,
    Vienn Peridot

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous18 June 2011 at 16:25

    Darling Ophelia,
    It's been so very long since we last spoke. I'm almost 19 now. I moved away from home a year ago: for the City. I've been at university living and studying in Central London. Living that life. Of excitement, joy. Happiness, heartbreak. & recovery. Beauty...
    You have all my love
    Holly x x x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Kitty20 June 2011 at 16:56

    We're all really going to miss you. It's be a tough roller coaster, but you've finally reached the bottom and are getting off. We all understand.

    Have a wonderful life, and good luck. <3

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous21 June 2011 at 20:17

    Ophelia,

    Congratulations. I'm overjoyed for you. I'll miss you, and your words of steel that get me off my ass, and get ambition thrumming through my own slow veins, but I know I can return here and re-read your posts, when I need a pick-me-up. I'm so happy for you, I just wish I could hug you right now, and we could go down to the corner and celebrate with a glass of champagne. You deserve this so much. You are amazing. Please let us know every now and then how you are?

    All my love,
    Willa

    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  15. *daisy*22 June 2011 at 10:00

    Congratulations! Goodbye and good luck! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  16. what if summer...25 June 2011 at 20:59

    Give 'em hell.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stephanie Scarpa26 June 2011 at 14:13

    So great! Congratulations!

    Love
    /S / http:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com
    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ana's Girl3 July 2011 at 17:07

    I'm so happy for you that your dream is coming true! That's got to be the best feeling ever. :) I wish you the very best of luck in all your new endeavors. I'll miss you bunches, but i'm so glad you've found something better to live for. Sending you all my love and best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  19. dayofmine1 August 2011 at 01:06

    Congratulations on the job! That's so exciting! I'm glad that you got it because I know you wanted it so badly.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Harlow B9 August 2011 at 15:35

    Goodbye ophelia. I wish you nothing but the best. Although I will miss your blog terribly I hope you don't come back, because your absence means you're living life the wAy one should.

    ReplyDelete
  21. clytie9 August 2011 at 17:40

    you will be missed dearly but I send you warm wishes<3

    ReplyDelete

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