Skip to main content

Praying for a survivor out there

If there is ANYONE out there who has recovered from an eating disorder...
And I mean COMPLETEY recovered, back to the pure, normal, natural way of eating and thinking that you were when you were first born...

PLEASE, I need you to reach out to me. And tell me it can be done. Because I simply cannot believe it otherwise.

Comments

  1. littlegirllost15 November 2011 at 21:14

    No my love, I cannot lie to you. But anything can be done. And I'm convinced you can do it, with the right help. And when you find that help, please send them my way. <3 thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *daisy*21 November 2011 at 23:16

    Yes and No.
    It's been nine months since I last purged.
    Weeks since I last added up calories in my daily intake.
    A year since I last weighed myself voluntarily.
    1 month and 26 days since I last had sex with a stranger.
    It is possible. There is always, always hope. You've been to therapy, you know it's hard work and you gave up last time because you thought it was the stronger, braver choice to carry on punishing your body for your thoughts. I started by reading on addiction - I'm not an addict in a strict sense of the word but I think our behaviour is compulsive, irrational and controls absolutely every aspect of our life. I started out reading up on SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) which has a 12 step approach. The first resource they recommend you draw on is sobriety: a willingness to stop acting out our own personal bottom-line addictive behaviour on a daily basis. If you're not willing to change, you won't. It's as simple as that.
    Someone complimented me on how thin I was and asked me what my secret was the other night. A couple of years ago I would have said 600 calories a day and a lot of energetic sex. Now, it's because I don't binge, I don't fast and I don't diet. If we were strong willed enough, if we'd pursued anorexia absolutely, we'd both be dead by now. But we were strong willed enough to get our lowest weights which ARE achievements and even as someone in recovery I can appreciate my determination and self-control in starvation. But I now know I can channel those huge reserves of strength into changing my behaviour. I'm now on track to graduate with a first because I know how strong I am.
    I don't think it's weak to decide to change, to quit this way of life.
    I don't think relapse is inevitable either.
    I wish you all the best. No one deserves to punish their body like this. I really recommend having a look at AA or NA or SLAA websites for their perspective on recovery. I couldn't bear to look at the ED recovery websites - I just found them patronising and often really alienating.
    Much love xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alice24 November 2011 at 22:15

    Ophelia,

    I think Daisy put it very well: if you have the willpower to put your body through as much as you've had thus far, you definitely have what it takes to channel that willpower into recovering. You need to be more forgiving to yourself. I think recovery requires truly understanding and choosing a life that isn't controlled by these voices that tell you to place your appearance, physical beauty over every other aspect of your being. We'll most likely be more aware of what we eat, how we look, but we shouldn't let that dictate our lives to the point of overpowering it.

    I emailed you a year ago as a college sophomore. You send me a very kind email in response telling me to not give up on my own recovery. It's my turn to let you know that there's always hope. Everything is a matter of faith and attitude. Believe in yourself!

    Love,
    Alice

    ReplyDelete
  4. notapplicable25 November 2011 at 07:25

    i wouldn't count myself a completely fixed, but i'm a survivor for sure. from 15 i put up with this shit, i'm 21 now and things are finally OK.
    my last post http://ivegotnothinglefttolose.blogspot.com/2011/11/since-my-last-post-so-so-much-has.html
    read it, it might give you some sort of hope :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1 December 2011 at 10:02

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRJ17Qrff3U

    Check out this lady, she is tooootally over her anorexia and is going to get married in a couple of months. Get inspired! Watch her very first video and see her changing, it's incredible!

    I'm sure you'll get better soon. All you have to do is believe.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Zoie1 December 2011 at 16:46

    DARLING. it can be done! I was anorexic as fuuck and shipped out to rehab at 98lbs down from 140lbs.
    it took shitloads of time but i'm so fucking happy and normal today and not fat.
    pleeease email or something. confessionschicka@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Don't be anonymous, leave a name at least so I can identify you back :)

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Non-ED (a.k.a. 'normal') Friends...

So, it appears that the girls at law school still count me as a friend after my excessive drunkenness last week. But friends - female friends - they come at such a price for the eating disordered... I'm at the college all day, everyday - a lecture first thing in the morning and a workshop last thing in the afternoon - which means that we have a four-hour break in the middle. Since my very first day I've spent these four-hour breaks with a bunch of girls in my lecture group - and while they are really nice and I'm so grateful beyond belief that I made friends so quickly, it's a MASSIVE struggle for me. Having an eating disorder is so easy when you spend most of your time by yourself - no-one gives a damn if you ate and no-one knows any better if you did or you didn't. Having an eating disorder is shit when you have to pretend to be all smiley and normal all day long. It's shit when you have to spend lunchtime with your 'friends' who constantly talk about...
21 comments
Read more

Yes, I'm the great maintainer

So, a few days ago I declared that I was off to buy some laxatives to clear out my podgy belly. Took one. Nothing. Took two. Standard. Took three. And spent all day at work cramped over in severe pain and running to the loo every half hour. Oh my god did I curse myself. 8am to 5pm sat in an office, feeling like something inside me had collapsed. What I would give to go back to uni already and spend my days curled up under my duvet! I am sick of maintaining my weight. I'm working so hard on restricting my calorie intake and nothing is happening. Although I haven't exercised for like two weeks or something - maybe three. That's disgusting. I need to sort it out. I was a member of my gym at uni, and loved it. Now that I'm back home I can't get a gym membership anymore because my Mum believes in saving money over being healthy. She controls everything I spend and everything I do when I'm living with her. Working in an office with these long hours leaves me no time ...
13 comments
Read more

With all my everlasting love, Goodbye...

Well, I got the job. I spent the last three weeks living and breathing the company and the role, preparing myself completely for the onslaught of interviews. Every spare moment pouring over economics textbooks, business journals and newspapers, paperbacks and online resources. I did everything I could to get that job. I sat on the train on my journey home with my eyes closed and sent my thoughts up to the sky please let me get it, please, please I start in 4 weeks, straight after I finish at the school. Right back in the centre of the City of London. where I belong . where I can thrive, work hard and play hard back to my best whatever that best is I got the call to say I'd been offered the job in the middle of my therapy session. I was overjoyed. My therapist congratulated me. We talked about the incredible progress I had made. We talked about the end... We decided that my last session will be the week before I start my new job. The sun was shining outside, I felt invin...
21 comments
Read more