Funny, the way things work out.
I got sick of waiting for Josh to text me, so on Wednesday I tracked him down on facebook, added him, messaged him, and set up a date for next Friday.
Life is SO much simpler when the woman takes initiative.
Gareth - the hot 22 year old working in my department - is also one of my best friends at the bank, so obviously I'd been discussing the situation with Josh with him a great deal. On the few occasions when I'd been out in a bar or club together with Gareth and other work mates, the sexual tension been between us had been unbearable. However, considering the fact that he has a girlfriend and I also knew he was sleeping with a girl in another department of the bank, I stayed well enough alone. Since the time we were in Cargo a month ago though things had gotten more tense - he'd been keen to keep going out (with other work people too of course) and I'd kept pushing back for fear that the next time would be the time we overstepped the line.
On Friday we decided to go the gym for a workout together - normal enough, we'd worked out together before. We were joined by another of our friends Kevin and worked our way though a routine of weights, deadlifts and boxing before heading for a casual chicken protein dinner at Nando's. The banter of course with Gareth and Kevin is great, I get along with them really well. Jokes were flying around about Gareth and the girl he's sleeping with, and we laughed about the date I had set up for myself next week.
And then when I got home, Gareth and I started messaging - again, reasonably normal. Until he started saying "you can do much better than Josh"... and "you're a catch"... and "if only I were single"... and "basically telling you I fancy you"...
I didn't know how to respond until it got to the point where he was point blank asking me to respond. So I told him the truth: "At Cargo, all I wanted to do was kiss you."
He replied that he had felt the same. And then he hit me with something completely unexpected:
Well, unexpected, yes. Genuine? Apparently so, after speaking again today. It's not a bad situation in a way - Gareth and I are close work friends - to the extent that there's not much he doesn't know about me - he knows I've struggled with depression, he knows I have image and self-esteem issues. He's even seen me with the terrible rash on my face recently and still considers me attractive.
I mean - what's not great about that situation?
What's not great is the other girl at work he's been sleeping with. Although he claims that is over and he doesn't like her anymore, it doesn't change the fact that my colleagues and I have been bitching about him behind his back - and I definitely haven't been quiet about my disapproval. If Gareth and I were to start dating - and if it got to the point where it was serious and official - telling our other work friends would be both devastating and humiliating.
I've bitched about Gareth behind his back - A LOT. And here I am. Going to do this.
It's going to be another three weeks at least until he sees his girlfriend again to break up with her. I just have to hold off until then. And hope that this works out okay...
To be honest, I'm not really sure what I'm doing...
Hillary Clinton meme
8 months ago