I don't want to go to my psychiatrist and put on a brave face anymore.
I don't want to tell Alex how much I want to get better.
I don't want to look into the future and see a happy, glowing, successful mother of two.
Because I don't want to be a failure.
I wrote a letter to Alex:
...There are several reasons why I made the decision to ask my Mum to use the private healthcare cover to see a private psychiatrist...
I'm not a liar. Every word of that is true.
But is it possible?
How can it be possible when everything is upside down and backward and sad and I am so ingrained in it. That is my life.
...ready to be the girl I am when I'm with you permanently.