Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Doubt thou the stars are fire...

The 100th Post.
I'm tired today. And eating. The fight is draining from me.
It's him.
I was with Alex last night. And at the weekend. 4th Weekend in a row.
I eat when I'm with him. I eat. I don't worry, I eat, I'm happy... with him.

We've only really been 'together' for three weeks. This is insane. I keep pinching myself - surely this can't last.
We think we love each other.
Maybe we do.

I've had to stop to cry here.

He has just sent me a message in reply to a link I sent him earlier - a link to the psychiatrist I'm due to see:

He seems like he knows what he's talking about so no doubt you'll be in safe hands! Good luck!
If you ever need someone to chat to, just give me a ring...I probably won't know what to say, but I'll do what I can! In fact, if there's ever anything I can do, just let me know. I want to help you get better and understand as much as I can.

Love you xxxx

What else can I do but cry; the emotion is pouring out of me. I don't know what emotion any more.

"I want to help you get better and understand as much as I can."


  1. Honey if you want the recovery than you should do it. You can do it, Alex sounds like an amazing guy!

    You´re so lucky to have him!


  2. ophelia i missed u so much, i bet everyone here did! alex sounds like he really makes u happy. though u sound uneasy at urself feeling happy... embrace it, embrace his love. u deserve it, u are beautiful. /xo

  3. He sounds so lovely!
    That's so nice, you have someone to fall back on, someone to turn to. This boy could end up being the light in the dark you've needed for so long

  4. Hey!

    I saw your blog and I just wanted to pop in and tell you about . It's a blog network specifically for people who have eating disorders. It's a great community, and there's all sorts of cool stuff! Tons of themes to choose from and lots of options! Also, once you've had a blog for a month, you can apply to be part of the revenue sharing program, and a percentage of the money that the ads bring in!

    Anyways, I just wanted to say hi, and tell you about it. You look like you'd fit in well with DisorderedBlogs. :)

    If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me!

  5. <3 Aw, he sounds like a genuine winner.


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