I have wanted to come back for a little while. So much has happened since my last post. Work colleagues mostly, a trial run with a boy from an app. Arthur, Francis, Gregory, Vincent, Russell, Simon R. Shoes that didn't fit. There are pages about them of course, not here, but in notebooks and scribbles on my phone written on my tube commute. Some indifference, some annihilation, all part of my continual journey. In February, I met Thomas, and the turn began. We began dating in April, I was labelled his girlfriend in August, and he is the kindest man I have ever let into my life. I went to Bali in March. Like the healing of the Nile, the energy pulsed deep into my cells and blood and I have not let it go yet. The vibrations of the gong still echoing in my ears, the sunrise still glowing in my heart, the peace and tranquillity in the silent hum of those green fields... I came back with a deep, divine knowledge, that I treasure, every time I am close to forgetting. And now, I am ...
I relate.
ReplyDelete♥
I know that feeling oh so well... *hugs* hang in there, darling.
ReplyDeleteRemember to take a moment and breathe.
ReplyDeleteDisconnect yourself emotionally from the situation.
Empathising with you xx
Every little thing is going to be alright. I don't know your tastes in music, but reggae and classic rock got a lot of things right, including their messages. It may be something to help get you through these tougher times; it helps me, at least. Much love, darling.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel - I don't know how many hours I've spent lost in fantasies about DIY liposuction using a big, sharp knife & a vacuum cleaner
ReplyDeleteI´ve been thinking exactly the same way for years...what happened in these past days?You sounded so hopefull in your last post.
ReplyDeleteWhen i have thoughts like these i try to spend time with some friends who really understund me and distract myself, at least that works for me.
Hugs honey
Flor
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN.
ReplyDeleteOH I LOVE YOU DON'T DO IT. LISTEN TO MY OBNOXIOUS YELLING.