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Curvy is Beautiful...?

I'm currently sitting in Starbucks at London St Pancras station, waiting for my train back to uni (and an empty kitchen! joy!!) I've been here at the station for about two hours... and still another hour to go before my train actually departs. I decided it would be better to leave home before dinner just so I could avoid another fiasco (seriously staying at home these last two weeks has been living hell! Closets full of food, taking out rubbish bags every other day in secret. Not to mention constantly being surrounded by tons and tons of food screaming out "Binge On Me!"

To amuse myself I bought a copy of the American Edition of Vogue here at the station's WHSmith. Beyonce on the cover: "Real women have curves". Looking at these pictures even now, the first thing that strikes me is, bloody hell, she has massive thighs and arse. Like...really...I'd hate to have her figure...and yet...everyone always goes on about how great it is. I have this issue with Marylin Monroe as well...I mean...she was a big girl. Do I need a slap round the face for saying these things about Monroe and Beyonce????
Argh, I dunno, maybe curves look good if you're famous enough...but for me, yuck yuck yuck, curves are something that I just find hideous on my own body.
Also, I can't help but notice that most of the models in American Vogue are definitely shapelier than those in my usual UK Vogue - is this just me? I scrutinise figures carefully and I'm sure these waists are at least a couple of inches bigger - stumbling across a picture of Victoria Beckham in the middle of the magazine and suddenly she looks deadly thin in comparison rather than looking normal size next to the models in UK magazines. ?!?!?
Maybe I've had too much coffee and my head is shakey.
But still in this same edition there is an article praising "voluptuous" Adele - ummm what.
And another article about Monica Seles overcoming her obsessions with weight...

Ok...I'm not imagining this...I need a magazine with tiny waif like waists before my head gets completely screwed up!

Why do I hate myself so much for looking like a Monroe or Beyonce?
Maybe curvy is beautiful...but to me, curvy is natural, uncontrolled, normal.
I want to be out-of-this-world, controlled and exceptional.

I suppose this whole episode has made me realise that this desire for perfection and thinness is about more than just food and mirrors... it's about me. It's about becoming something more by proving that I can become something less. Mentally, this is important to me. It's a challenge that I judge my life success by.
Some people challenge success by money, power, love. For me I judge success by control and weight...


  1. wow I totally agree with you. I do not want to look like those two at all! Like you said it is ok when you have millions of dollars to be fat. In the real world looking like that is fat i'm sorry. I want to be super thin- like crazy thin. So you are not the only one that feels that way trust me!

  2. I completely agree! The term curvy to me means fat - but too polite to say it. Maybe I'd have the confidence to live with being fat if I had a pretty face, but still. When people see prettish fat people they go "Hasn't she got a pretty face?" rather than "Isn't she pretty?". I know which one I'd prefer to be said about me. If you're a fat celeb you can claim to be acting out against the size zero trend or say you want to be a role model. But at the end of the day I would love to look like Mary Kate and I would hate to look like Beth Ditto. All my thoughts may seem harsh - but in this world it's the reality. Thanks for your post. Glad you're finally getting back to your empty fridge and sorry Easter was tough for you hun. Think thin. Love. xo

  3. I totally agree w/ you on the Beyonce thing. Also I notice that in today's society and I'm not trying to be rude in saying this but there is a little more leeway in the curve dept. for different ethnic backgrounds eg. Jennifer Lopez (Latina), Beyonce (African American), America Ferrera (Latina), Kim Kardashian (Greek) etc....white girls aren't really allowed to be curvy w/out be ridiculed eg. Jessica Simpson who recently put on some weight again and yet wouldn't be considered bigger than Beyonce I don't think.

  4. You are falling into the trap that you have to be a size 0 - 2 or you aren't worth anything that the fashion industry has promoted for years. America, Beyonce, Jessica etc. are more proportioned for real women and not the stereotype of the "perfect" woman which is not realistic. See some of the models that have grown past the modeling stage and their weight is now more normal than when modeling. That is one of the reasons lots of models are 13 & 14 because they haven't finished growing yet.

    Real women that real men want have curves and are healthy first not anorexic, starved and being someone that they aren't. Don't fall for the fashion magazine stupidity.

  5. I agree. This "curves" thing is bullshit.


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