Monday, 20 April 2009

It's nearly 3am and I have to be on the coach at 7am to go to Paris. Argh. And yeah I'm a little bit drunk - typing is really hard in this state.
I drank and I ate today. Loads. Worthless piece of shit. I looked fucking huge in my dress tonight.

Anyway. I pulled this guy, Max. He's lovely, lovely, really. I know he's liked me for ages, and then he decided to go out with this girl, and they've just broken up. And oh! I don't know, am I using him? Am I gonna change my mind and be heartless towards him? But goodness, he is so... I dunno, just so... he says things I've never heard a guy say to me before... makes me feel incredible...
and I feel like...why?

Does he know? Would he care? What am I doing? Why.
He is such a lovely guy. The boyfriend type of guy. and honestly, I think I'd just fuck him up. Im not a girlfriend kind of girl.

Fuck mah pff

Ok so this is the last time I'm gonna be online for like 4 days. I'm gonna miss you guys. I'm afraid. Max is coming to Paris too, what, why...shit

This isn't what I want. I want Ana. Thin.


  1. Do what you want, Sweet Pea! Enjoy Paris and just go with your gut regarding the guy. You deserve a break at the very least so I hope you have some fun.

    Will miss you, but I hope you have exciting things to tell when you return!!

  2. Love a good drunken post. :)

    Look out for yourself sweety, new guy can take care of himself. As long as you don't screw him over on purpose then it's fair game.

  3. Miss you :)

    Maybe a guy is what you kinda need right now.
    Not to sound bad of course.

    You're a great drunken typist :P

    Take care :)


  4. Oh baby. Please stay strong! It will get better. It will all be ok. Just... try to find hope. Motivation, determination. I believe in you. I know you can do this. You ARE going to do this. It's just a game of time. Keep faith xxx

  5. good luck girl!
    i dont really see myself as a girlfriend type either.
    im not exactly what someone would bring home to mom hahaha
    but maybe this guy could help you grow as far as relationships go.
    maybe its worth the trouble.

    well, ill miss you while youre gone!

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3


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