Sometimes, I feel like I have two friends: Ana and Mia.
Ana and Mia are constantly fighting over me because they both want to be my best friend - but obviously, I can only be friends with one at a time. When I spend too much time with Ana, Mia comes along and pushes her aside, and no matter how much I try to go back to Ana, I still like Mia too much to leave her straight away.
Well, I decided last year, that Mia was a possessive bitch who only wanted to be friends with me in order to destroy me. Ana is my guardian angel - she wants the best for me.
But despite this, Mia is still always hanging around outside...knocking on the door, begging me to let her back in...
(and no I'm not hallucinatory, I don't really think they are real people :p )
MIA = BINGE = PURGE = BINGE
I'd say the biggest threat to perfection and thinness is the big BINGE - that trance-like state where you just eat... and everything you stand for is forgotten...
I don't really get why people enjoy being bulimic. It doesn't get you thin. If anything, it makes you fat, I should know. And 'the binge' - the ultimate destroyer of your day, your goals, your happiness - even if you throw up afterwards, it's pointless - the damage is reversible.
So, ladies, I would like to introduce you to this site:
Now I know what your thinking - RECOVERY?!?!?!
Well, yes. Recovery. Recovery from that evil bitch Mia.
It's like I said, you just can't be friends with both Ana AND Mia... Mia is always gonna set you back. Binging is always gonna screw you up. You have to get rid of Mia and learn to eliminate any desire to binge before you can fully commit to Ana (well this is in my experience anyway!)
The "Binge Buster" section http://www.bulimiahelp.org/page/binge-busting is great for learning to control and stop binges. There's also an online food journal where you can record everything you eat, and a part called "Body Awareness" which teaches you to eat properly so that you savour your food which I find especially useful when I am restricting. It basically teaches you a long procedure to carry out whenever you eat anything which makes you feel really full, and you sort of draw on this chart thing, letting you eat a tiny amount and still feel full and happy!
Of course there's all the usual propaganda about how diets don't work etc etc, but other than that I think the site is really useful for controlling binging!
I don't know if any of you will find it useful, but thought I ought to share it :) I'll do anything to rid our world of binges!
Thanks for the love in the recent comments
Stay with thin x x x
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