Skip to main content

That evil, possessive, bitch

Sometimes, I feel like I have two friends: Ana and Mia.
Ana and Mia are constantly fighting over me because they both want to be my best friend - but obviously, I can only be friends with one at a time. When I spend too much time with Ana, Mia comes along and pushes her aside, and no matter how much I try to go back to Ana, I still like Mia too much to leave her straight away.


Well, I decided last year, that Mia was a possessive bitch who only wanted to be friends with me in order to destroy me. Ana is my guardian angel - she wants the best for me.


But despite this, Mia is still always hanging around outside...knocking on the door, begging me to let her back in...


(and no I'm not hallucinatory, I don't really think they are real people :p )


MIA = BINGE = PURGE = BINGE


I'd say the biggest threat to perfection and thinness is the big BINGE - that trance-like state where you just eat... and everything you stand for is forgotten...


I don't really get why people enjoy being bulimic. It doesn't get you thin. If anything, it makes you fat, I should know. And 'the binge' - the ultimate destroyer of your day, your goals, your happiness - even if you throw up afterwards, it's pointless - the damage is reversible.


So, ladies, I would like to introduce you to this site:
http://www.bulimiahelp.org/

Now I know what your thinking - RECOVERY?!?!?!
Well, yes. Recovery. Recovery from that evil bitch Mia.


It's like I said, you just can't be friends with both Ana AND Mia... Mia is always gonna set you back. Binging is always gonna screw you up. You have to get rid of Mia and learn to eliminate any desire to binge before you can fully commit to Ana (well this is in my experience anyway!)


The "Binge Buster" section http://www.bulimiahelp.org/page/binge-busting is great for learning to control and stop binges. There's also an online food journal where you can record everything you eat, and a part called "Body Awareness" which teaches you to eat properly so that you savour your food which I find especially useful when I am restricting. It basically teaches you a long procedure to carry out whenever you eat anything which makes you feel really full, and you sort of draw on this chart thing, letting you eat a tiny amount and still feel full and happy!

Of course there's all the usual propaganda about how diets don't work etc etc, but other than that I think the site is really useful for controlling binging!


I don't know if any of you will find it useful, but thought I ought to share it :) I'll do anything to rid our world of binges!


Thanks for the love in the recent comments
Stay with thin x x x
Labels:

Comments

  1. A Waste Of Kate29 April 2009 at 22:25

    Thank you! I love your blog! I just found it today & I've been reading it non-stop!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jess30 April 2009 at 00:39

    Yeah I suffered from bulimia for 10 yrs (still do I suppose). It DOES NOT make you thin at all...I should know all my heaviest weights were when I was b/ping the most! Whenever I read on here girls trying b/ping all the time I just think it's not helping trust me - it will screw you up so much more in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Savory Sweet30 April 2009 at 05:10

    Ah excellent link!! I don't flirt with MIA but I binge like a crazy ass bitch sometimes and most of the "stop binging" crap online is useless. Thank you!!! And good luck breaking up with Mia, you can do it :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Daisy30 April 2009 at 05:27

    I've got to say I disagree with the Mia thing.
    Years ago, I was strictly Mia and went from about 105lbs to 86lbs.

    However, I didn't exactly binge. I just ate normally and purged.
    If you do it right it can be effective.

    Just don't do it consistently for too many years or...well, I'm sure you've heard the horror stories.

    Luckily I gave her up before she gave me any negative side effects.

    xx, Daisy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous30 April 2009 at 08:58

    Thank you so much for your support Ophelia. Seriously. I can't tell you how much it helps to know I'm not alone in this... It's a fight. And we're all in it. Together.

    Love xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. SophiaRuins30 April 2009 at 19:15

    thanks a lot for the links =D
    at one time i was getting into mia for a while, but she was never really for me.
    we didnt exactly get along if you know what i mean =o
    but me and ana,

    now thats a different story.


    i deff do need help with binging problems though.
    so the links were very useful =]



    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous30 April 2009 at 21:00

    Thanks for the links. Seems like for some Mia is a good friend but for those of us who do NOT get help from her, then it's best just to get rid of the stupid bitch lol.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Don't be anonymous, leave a name at least so I can identify you back :)

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Non-ED (a.k.a. 'normal') Friends...

So, it appears that the girls at law school still count me as a friend after my excessive drunkenness last week. But friends - female friends - they come at such a price for the eating disordered... I'm at the college all day, everyday - a lecture first thing in the morning and a workshop last thing in the afternoon - which means that we have a four-hour break in the middle. Since my very first day I've spent these four-hour breaks with a bunch of girls in my lecture group - and while they are really nice and I'm so grateful beyond belief that I made friends so quickly, it's a MASSIVE struggle for me. Having an eating disorder is so easy when you spend most of your time by yourself - no-one gives a damn if you ate and no-one knows any better if you did or you didn't. Having an eating disorder is shit when you have to pretend to be all smiley and normal all day long. It's shit when you have to spend lunchtime with your 'friends' who constantly talk about...
21 comments
Read more

Yes, I'm the great maintainer

So, a few days ago I declared that I was off to buy some laxatives to clear out my podgy belly. Took one. Nothing. Took two. Standard. Took three. And spent all day at work cramped over in severe pain and running to the loo every half hour. Oh my god did I curse myself. 8am to 5pm sat in an office, feeling like something inside me had collapsed. What I would give to go back to uni already and spend my days curled up under my duvet! I am sick of maintaining my weight. I'm working so hard on restricting my calorie intake and nothing is happening. Although I haven't exercised for like two weeks or something - maybe three. That's disgusting. I need to sort it out. I was a member of my gym at uni, and loved it. Now that I'm back home I can't get a gym membership anymore because my Mum believes in saving money over being healthy. She controls everything I spend and everything I do when I'm living with her. Working in an office with these long hours leaves me no time ...
13 comments
Read more

With all my everlasting love, Goodbye...

Well, I got the job. I spent the last three weeks living and breathing the company and the role, preparing myself completely for the onslaught of interviews. Every spare moment pouring over economics textbooks, business journals and newspapers, paperbacks and online resources. I did everything I could to get that job. I sat on the train on my journey home with my eyes closed and sent my thoughts up to the sky please let me get it, please, please I start in 4 weeks, straight after I finish at the school. Right back in the centre of the City of London. where I belong . where I can thrive, work hard and play hard back to my best whatever that best is I got the call to say I'd been offered the job in the middle of my therapy session. I was overjoyed. My therapist congratulated me. We talked about the incredible progress I had made. We talked about the end... We decided that my last session will be the week before I start my new job. The sun was shining outside, I felt invin...
21 comments
Read more