"Bulimia is not a pretty disease. It does not bring the admiration of peers, as starving does. Writer's have spoken about "the moral superiority" of anorexia nervosa. Being able to starve is an "art" because it involves self-control. One feels so morally superior! Society admires starving women. Not so with purging out-of-control women! There is no moral superiority in throwing up your food after stuffing yourself."
So, it appears that the girls at law school still count me as a friend after my excessive drunkenness last week. But friends - female friends - they come at such a price for the eating disordered... I'm at the college all day, everyday - a lecture first thing in the morning and a workshop last thing in the afternoon - which means that we have a four-hour break in the middle. Since my very first day I've spent these four-hour breaks with a bunch of girls in my lecture group - and while they are really nice and I'm so grateful beyond belief that I made friends so quickly, it's a MASSIVE struggle for me. Having an eating disorder is so easy when you spend most of your time by yourself - no-one gives a damn if you ate and no-one knows any better if you did or you didn't. Having an eating disorder is shit when you have to pretend to be all smiley and normal all day long. It's shit when you have to spend lunchtime with your 'friends' who constantly talk about...
Abstaining from food is the same as abstaining from sex to a lot of people. Fasting is part of many religious holidays, and spirituality means the rejection of bodily desires. Anorexia as it sits as a disease is no more morally superior to any other disorder. Having fear of being fat isn't the same as self control and "cleansing your soul." The motives are completely different, yet they involve the same actions and yield the same results.
ReplyDeleteBulimia and Anorexia shouldn't be romanticized with this moral bull shit. I couldn't imagine that having either of them is poetic at all.