"Bulimia is not a pretty disease. It does not bring the admiration of peers, as starving does. Writer's have spoken about "the moral superiority" of anorexia nervosa. Being able to starve is an "art" because it involves self-control. One feels so morally superior! Society admires starving women. Not so with purging out-of-control women! There is no moral superiority in throwing up your food after stuffing yourself."
There are tears stinging the backs of my eyelids every time I shut my eyes to pause. This world is hurting me so much. The truth is, I'm living, I'm so very much alive, so fit, so healthy, at my peak... except I'm doing it for the spectres that haunt me and keep my blood running so cold. I am a living eating disorder. That's it. There's nothing else left in my head anymore. You know, I'd give anything, to update my facebook status to say really 'what's on my mind'. Don't you ever just want to scream at the top of your voice. "PLEASE HELP ME. Underneath this pretty blush and giddy personality I'm dying, I'm torturing myself, I'm killing myself. Please fucking help me." I've reached the stage where I can't eat anything without throwing it up. The only reason I'm not losing weight is because my initial intake is so much that I can't be getting even half the calories back up anymore. I'm 22 years old and my l...
Abstaining from food is the same as abstaining from sex to a lot of people. Fasting is part of many religious holidays, and spirituality means the rejection of bodily desires. Anorexia as it sits as a disease is no more morally superior to any other disorder. Having fear of being fat isn't the same as self control and "cleansing your soul." The motives are completely different, yet they involve the same actions and yield the same results.
ReplyDeleteBulimia and Anorexia shouldn't be romanticized with this moral bull shit. I couldn't imagine that having either of them is poetic at all.