Saturday, 13 June 2009

He got to laugh

My mum wants me to go into town with her to sort out my bank account.
I go only to avoid an argument.
I wear my shittest fattest clothes.
Glasses.
Foundation.
I look like a piece of shit, humiliated by my reflection, but its ok...it'll be two minutes in public then home to hide my ugly reflection away. I would never, ever go out looking like this on any normal occasion.

I walk right into my ex-boyfriend.
Not seen him since we broke up 3 years ago.
Panic attack. Sweating. Shaking. Retching.
Fists clenched like a murderer.
Knife, blood, help me cope.
Walked in the door and screamed.

I want to smash things up. I want to bleed into ecstasy.

He got to laugh at how ugly I am.

6 comments:

  1. Oh yuck, you poor thing. You can make yourself immaculate a million times in the hopes of bumping into an ex, but it only ever happens when you aren't expecting it and look your worst :(

    I just read the article about "normal women". Dress it up any way you like love. You are overweight and even if the odd chubby chaser wants to run his hands over your ripples, you are still at an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, cancer and GOD DAMN FREAKING UGLINESS.

    And you only have fewer wrinkles because your skin is so stretched. Wrinkles over stretch marks any day

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  2. wah. poor girl. that sucks.
    so he actually saw you?

    you know what: lose them pounds and then meet him again (by accident of course) and he will bite his ass! :D

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  3. http://toomuchmachine.blogspot.com

    Coming soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. don't worry,
    I'm sure you didn't look ugly.
    I hate going out now,
    incase I see people I know.
    they will see how fat I am,
    eugh, hope your okay,
    x.

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  5. dont worry sweetheart, most of the time when we think we are at our worst everyone thinks we still look amazing.
    im sure he was kicking himself in the ass for not having you still.
    xox

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  6. >.< I just had the gnarliest meeting with an ex, one who I'm still not over. It was at a party, I was so shitfaced, he had to carry me to the car I was riding in while bitching about how sucky at life I am. Ex boyfriends are so lame.
    Just try to knock his socks off, next time he sees you.

    ReplyDelete

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